How To Piss Me Off

"PatBateman" (PatBateman) 01/19/2017 at 19:40 • Filed to: Jerks

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STAY ON YOUR SIDE OF THE LINE, ASSHOLE!!! Also, an honorable mention to the guy who honked at me to cross three lanes of traffic with cars whipping by at 55 MPH. I drive a Cadillac, not an Abrams tank.

Raging is something I normally don’t do, UNLESS YOU PARK LIKE THIS WHICH MIGHT LEAD TO DOOR DINGS ON MY CAR.

TheHondaBro > PatBateman 01/19/2017 at 19:44

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If I think I might have my car dinged by a door, I take a picture of my car such that the license plates of the cars next to mine are visible. I haven’t needed to use one yet, but I do have a lovely picture of a light green Ford Escape!

For Sweden > PatBateman 01/19/2017 at 19:45

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But it’s not touching you

It’s not tooooooooouching you!

Rusty Vandura - www.tinyurl.com/keepoppo > PatBateman 01/19/2017 at 19:45

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Chan - Mid-engine with cabin fever > PatBateman 01/19/2017 at 19:49

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Cadillac, Abrams, same thing.

sm70- why not Duesenberg? > PatBateman 01/19/2017 at 19:53

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First time I think I’ve ever seen your ride. Nice car. Hopefully no dings on it now.

Honeybunchesofgoats > PatBateman 01/19/2017 at 19:56

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In one parking garage I used to use, I would always take a corner spot in an area where there were only two spots, so I would never have to worry about door dings from the person next to me. On two occasions, assholes who thought they were being cute decided to park on the center line between me and the other car.

Both times I went to the parking attendant who was so very happy to issue them a fine. Neither one did that again.

That said, I’d still have preferred to punch them in the face.

shop-teacher > PatBateman 01/19/2017 at 19:58

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I fuggin HATE when people do that!

Rico > Honeybunchesofgoats 01/19/2017 at 20:03

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I think if more people got punched in the face they’d correct their stupid behavior.

It’s like the guy who THINKS he’s a tough guy until a REAL tough guy comes and cracks him all of a sudden fake tough guy becomes a regular guy.

e36Jeff now drives a ZHP > PatBateman 01/19/2017 at 20:04

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Can I get a side order of rage for the guy that takes 30 seconds to complete his lane change maneuver to get out of the left lane he’s doing 60 in?

Honeybunchesofgoats > Rico 01/19/2017 at 20:06

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I dream of someday being rich enough that I could afford to 1) electrify my parked car and 2) pay for the legal bills that would follow. I bet people would think twice about how much room they leave.

PatBateman > TheHondaBro 01/19/2017 at 20:07

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I checked, no dings. It was hard as hell to back out of the spot, though.

PatBateman > For Sweden 01/19/2017 at 20:08

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That’s how people get punched.

Daily Drives a Dragon - One Last Lap > PatBateman 01/19/2017 at 20:09

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Oh the honking is the worst part. I can’t stand that when you’re trying to cross.

PatBateman > Rusty Vandura - www.tinyurl.com/keepoppo 01/19/2017 at 20:10

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Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo > PatBateman 01/19/2017 at 20:56

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That Mazda driver obviously doesn’t value the elderly.

PatBateman > sm70- why not Duesenberg? 01/19/2017 at 21:55

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Thanks. There are a couple VERY SMALL dings that you have to really look for to see. Otherwise, it’s in pretty dang good shape.

PatBateman > shop-teacher 01/19/2017 at 21:58

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I feel your anger. I was cussing for a good 40 yards walking to my car after I saw it.

PatBateman > e36Jeff now drives a ZHP 01/19/2017 at 22:03

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Going 60.

Turns on right blinker.

Doesn’t go.

WHY DOESN’T HE CHANGE LANES ALREADY?!

Starts to maneuver to the right.

Stops at the lane line.

Blinker still on.

He’s clear right.

Tests the water by dipping his right tires over the line.

Hits a small bump.

Scares him.

Swerved back left.

JUST CHANGE LANES ALREADY.

Blinker still on.

Starts to change lanes.

Slowly.

Straddles line like he’s having second thoughts.

Moves slightly back left.

Slowly

Ever so slowly

Merges into the lane to his right.

Blinker still on as you pass him, looking into his car to see the asshole who is scared to death of a simple lane change, giving him the stank eye.

PatBateman > Daily Drives a Dragon - One Last Lap 01/19/2017 at 22:05

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There wasn’t even a big enough spot for me to gun it and get through traffic (and the CTS will move when you put the right pedal down to the floor).

He also gave the universal “WTF” hand gesture.

e36Jeff now drives a ZHP > PatBateman 01/19/2017 at 22:06

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This. Exactly this. It’s slower than the “I drifted halfway into the other lane so I’m going to put my blinker on and complete the lane change so it looks intentional” guy. I really don’t get how someones lane change can be slower than someone who didn’t even realize they were changing lanes when they started.

I’ve just started being a dick and passing them as soon as there is enough space in the lane for my car to squeeze by. 9 out of 10 times I’ve finished overtaking them before they fully exit the lane.

PatBateman > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 01/19/2017 at 22:06

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I will beat you with my cane if you don’t watch what you say.

It’s not like it’s a damn DTS.

PatBateman > e36Jeff now drives a ZHP 01/19/2017 at 22:11

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I firmly believe that the most outstanding citizens, and I mean the ones with perfect common sense and sanity, of this fine country should be given the legal right to shoot a paintball gun at anyone doing something egregiously stupid. The person who gets tagged is barred from retribution. This will serve as a warning to them to remind them that moronic behavior will not be tolerated in this society.

TheBloody, Oppositelock lives on in our shitposts. > PatBateman 01/19/2017 at 23:11

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It’s like you were in my car... FUCKING PA DRIVERS!!!!!!

shop-teacher > PatBateman 01/19/2017 at 23:30

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I would’ve done the same. I’m a big dude so I may not have been able to get in on the driver’s side. There’s a special place to n hell for those who make me get in on the passenger side and slide over.

PatBateman > shop-teacher 01/20/2017 at 08:53

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I’m about 6', a little over 200lbs. It wasn’t too hard to get into the car luckily, but I had to get really creative so that I didn’t rub my suit on either dirty car.

There have been other times where bad parkers have caused me to crawl from the passenger side. THAT PISSES ME OFF THE MOST.

shop-teacher > PatBateman 01/20/2017 at 09:08

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I’m the same height, but a lot heavier. Luckily my truck has a bench seat so I can slide over instead of climb over the console.